BOOK EXCERPT

Prologue

When My Father Woke Up, He Woke Me Up Too

 For my family, the 1990 drama Awakenings is not just a movie. Based on the true story of Dr Oliver Sacks, Penny Marshall’s film centers on Dr. Malcolm Sayer (played by Robin Williams) and his patient Leonard Lowe (played by Robert De Niro). In the film, Sayer uses a drug designed to treat Parkinson’s Disease to awaken catatonic patients living in a Bronx hospital. The most dramatic and amazing results are found in Leonard. Although Leonard completely awakens, the results are temporary, and he reverts to his catatonic state. Dr. Sayer tells a group of hospital grant donors that although Leonard’s awakening did not last, another type of awakening, “learning to appreciate and live life”, took place, and that this is the message they should take from the event.

While not as dramatic as in the movie, my dad, who suffered from severe dementia, also had a period where he awakened. This book is about the time my dad woke up from his dementia and came back to us, why we think it happened, but most of all this book is about the profound impact Dad’s awakening had, and still has, on my family, and me. When my dad woke up it was a gift I thought was beyond reach, and the greatest gift, beyond having my dad as my dad, and having all of the wonderful people in my family, I have ever received. There isn’t a formula here: How you can wake up your loved one from dementia in three easy steps, but there is a suggestion on what you can do, in your life, and in the lives of those you love, to be sure you are all awake, and never miss any of the many awakenings life brings to all of us, so many times over, little miraculous gifts, that we are too worried, or distracted, or busy to notice. It puts me in mind of the first two stanzas of “Opportunity,” by the poet Walter Malone:

They do me wrong who say I come no more

When once I knock and fail to find you in;

For every day I stand outside your door

And bid you wake, and rise to fight and win.

 

Wail not for precious chances passed away!

Weep not for golden ages on the wane!

Each night I burn the records of the day--

At sunrise every soul is born again!

Malone’s message is that each of use gets opportunities every day to be present in our lives, to mine the joy of living. The awakening, I realized when it happened to my dad, was not just for my dad. It was for me, my brother, my sister, my kids, and their kids. And I want to keep giving Dad’s gift out. I want to give it to you, and your family. And I want to hear about your awakenings, so that we can keep the circle growing. I hope that this book will lead you to your own awakenings, or to recognize the ones you’ve already had. And then maybe you’ll share it with those in your life. I’m also recording a companion podcast, and I hope you will also find that, so that you can hear the awakenings that others have already shared with me. In some ways, maybe after the pandemic, but maybe even before, many of us have become unmoored from our lives: in them, but not observant of them, and an awakening can bring you back to your life. Your life and your awakenings are miracles, and I hope this book will encourage you to share them with those you love, and maybe even with me, on my podcast. So, thank you for finding this book. It means everything to me that I can share my story with you, and I would so love to hear your story too.

Buy the book on Amazon here:   https://a.co/d/i54ZXuf